Jul
ok so this is sort of weird cus i dont no if i was actually molested or not but here goes. when i was about 8ish i went to a female doctor and she took me into this room and made me strip down and then she started feeling me and it felt really wrong and she wasnt wearing gloves or anything. then when i was 10 or 11 my friends dad started touching my butt and that was uncomfortable to say the least. and now im 17 and i sort of pushed all that stuff down but it recently bubbled up. and last night i went to a dance place and i was dancing with this guy and my insides started to hurt and i felt like crying but i was still having a good time dancing with him and now this day i keep getting this pain feeling like i did something wrong by dancing with him and i dont no what to do i feel really bad.
Answer:
I would concur both incidence were inappropriate touching. With the physician, since you felt it was wrong, then it was wrong and a good physician would have sense how uncomfortable you were. I wonder where your mother was at the time of the exam. Most doctors will not treat anyone unless there is a nurse or caregiver present especially if the exam requires you being naked.
The fact with your friend's Dad is also abuse. You don't give enough information to state exactly what the nature of the abuse was but again if you felt uncomfortable then it was not okay.
Overall, abuse is defined by the one who is being abused. Some people can be abused just by the language another person uses. In the workplace you can loose your job or worse for this sort of things. The friend's father could go to jail for such.
It seems these issues now are effecting you ability to relate to males so you might was to speak with a Counselor about this. Many times kids who have been sexually abused feel very guilty about it feeling that they have something bad, care about it is their fault. It is never the child's fault.
Let me know if this helps.
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Your friends father was a perv, but he didn't molest you. I’ve the feeling, that since the other incident happened nearly 10 years ago, you might have blurred thoughts. You could try and check up on her… if you remember her name.
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Dood , the friend's dad thang is molesting
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well the physician checkin you like that’s normal shes a physician and its her job.. now the father touching your butt thats not normal did you have your cloths on? i hope. but dont worry about the dancing with the guy part, i get those to, sometimes i get flashbacks of when i was younger it feels like youre doing something wrong and you probably felt that the guy was probably gonna do something to you but dont woryy its nothing serious.. i personally dont think you have been molested if that all that happened in your childhood sexually.
Answer:
Honey, both the incidents you described is molestation. Both this doctor and your friends father betrayed you and your trust, its tiny wonder you feel this way.
You didn't do anything wrong with dancing with the boy, the reason you feel so bad is that your body and mind are trying to tell you that you need to deal with the emotions you have over the molestation.
Is your mum around (or an older sister, dad, cousin)? Talk to her, you really need someones support right about now. You might feel like she won't believe you or won't comprehend but chance are she’ll and will be the best support you can ever have.
Next you’ve to look for a therapist that deals with Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA), and possibly a support group (they can probably point you in the direction of a good therapist if need be).
My BFs sister found these things very useful in dealiing with her own CSA, and is now very happy. Also she found a great holistic accupuncturist that helped her deal with the emotional side and the repressed emotions.
I’m so sorry this happened to you! This kind of thing should never occur. You really need to get help now otherwise you will be paying for the rest of your life. If you need someone to speak to you can e-mail me.
Good luck.
P.S. - I state that the physician molested you because at 8 yo a physical should be done in the presence of a parent or caregiver and because, regardless, she should have worn gloves. THERE IS NO REASON FOR YOUR DOC TO BE TOUCHING OR FEELING YOU WITHOUT GLOVES. The fact that you felt so wrong is another good indication everything isn’t ok.
As for your friends dad, he’d no right to touch you anywhere, let alone your butt.
Trust your instincts. They are usually right.
Answer:
Hey MAK coolit. ITs just adolescence!