Feb
I just found out I'm pregnant, and i'm terrified. I'm 20, my ex boyfriend is 21, we both have another year of college left. We broke up after a 10 month relationship but have continued seeing each other, until we finally ended it this month. Ironically, now I'm pregnant. We’d good reasons for breaking up but I wouldn't mind giving it another shot, and I think he'd be a good father. He has a semi decent job, I work like 10 hours a week (unable to work more) and I only make $7.25 an hour. Both of us have parents who we hope would support us, but we're not sure. In this economy, with the terrible housing market and unemployment rate being so high, how would you deal with this? We are both terrified out of our minds, and he thinks abortion is the best choice but I keep wavering. I can't envision having a child but I also can't envision having an abortion either. But if we kept it, we wouldn't know where to live, how to complete school; we both live off of our parents and neither one of us really know how to be adults.
What would you do?
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There are a *ton* of resources out there for student parents to help you be a good parent and a good student. Talk to your advisor/counselor about what is available at your particular school. My husband and I are both students as well, and I discovered that there is a daycare on campus with subsidized childcare for students (meaning much cheaper than normal daycare), there are student parent groups who meet to support each other in different ways, there are child health insurance programs that the baby can qualify for if you make less than a certain amount, etc. There's WIC to help with food, and just so many more resources, including student family housing.
Money is stressful, yes, but it's stressful for *tons* of new parents, not just students. There are still resources available, you still have supportive families, and there are thousands of students who are going through it just fine (and finishing school on time or nearly on time). No you probably won't have everything new for the baby, tons of gadgets, or the most chic fashions of baby clothes, but you will still be successful as a parent and as a student.
As for being an adult, that'll come just fine. You're 20 and already an adult, and your family supporting you’ll just make it that much easier than trying to balance all this on your own.
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Do what u think is right. Just remember if u have the baby it is a lifetime commitment and you need to be able to offer ur child the best life u can. Kids dont ask to be born into terrible situations. There’s a lot of help out there for unwed pregnant women so you can explore those options as well. In the end it has to be your decision.
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Babies are a blessing. You would find a way to accomplish your goals and make ends meet with a baby. You should qualify for FAFSA to help you through school, especially now with a dependent. You’ve supportive families, so I feel that you should continue your pregnancy. Afterall, you seem like a baby would be a joyous addition to your life.
Best of Luck to you!
Mom to 4 beautiful kids with Twins due Sept. 2009 (babies #5&6)
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You will make it.
My husband and I made it.
He was the only one working getting 10.25 an hour. We paid $750 for rent plus utilities and other bills.
We’d to forget about eating out, cable, internet, and all things that weren't needed.
Its possible to make it.
Now I work again to live more comfortable.
Im a caregiver at a group home.
You got months to have a plan ready.
Congrats and best wishes
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WTH - I would be having a baby in 9 months that’s what I would do. But I’m having one in 2 months in this shitty economy. So what, you do what you gotta do.
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You're not the only one who got pregnant in the shitty economy.
A lot of folks got pregnant in the great depression too and those people are just fine now.
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Abortion is never the answer.
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If you aren't ready to be a parent, but you don't want an abortion, you could look for an adoption.
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well in my mind don't push something that doesn't need to be pushed.. what made you break up with your ex before.. now your pregnant thats going to bring conflict more money and i'm sorry to say 7.25 an hour isn't a enough to raise a baby.
you might want to keep the baby but really you need to do whats ideal for the BABY not you… i believe you should abort… it only takes 20 mins at the most.. and you shouldn't bring a baby into this world unless you have the money and time.. honey finish college, get a good job theres always time for a baby.
believe me, i'm 19, just a year under you.. i've wanted a child since i was 16. but i waited because i knew i couldn't provide for a child right now.. it was for the ideal…
plus you and your ex are broken up and MAKING you guys get back to gether just because your pregnant like i stated isn't the ideal reason to get back together… it brings fights because you guys don't have money, fights because your tired, and plus he doesn't want to have the baby you shouldn't force him to be there with you, that will lead to cheating and leaving you as a single mom..
please think really hard on what your about to do.. just because a lot of other women on here are 20 and said they could keep their babies and they turned out good, they also aren't getting paid only 7.25 an hr. with less then 10 hrs a week.. and you can't always depend on your parents also to buy every diaper, and bottle and wipes and everything you need…
please consider this because its too late to abort..
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Girl…. I thought I was the only one. I just turned 21 two months ago, I just started living my life, I work full time, and me & my boyfriend of 6 years just found out I'm pregnant. Last year we broke up & he slept with another girl. He got HPV from her & I just found out that I’ve it also. I'm getting an abortion. We're working things out, but I don't want to put the baby at risk, and I jsut feel it's unfair to bring a baby into the world without being stable enough to provide for it. I make $20.00 an hour and that's still not enough to support the child. It's a tough decisin, but don't let anyone dictate what you do. My cousin also found out she's pregnant & she's 22 with no job, and her and the baby's dad aren't even together, but she's keeping it because her mother is really supportive. My parents said they’ll help me, but I made the baby and I don't want to burden anyone with my “responsibility.” Abortion isn't a happy thought, and a lot of people will probably make you feel bad about it, but you do what you’ve to. People aren't in your position. I'm having an abortion because I'm young, and I'm not ready, and I know that I wouldn't be able to provide the kind of life I want for my child. This is the first time and I was with my boyfriend for 6 years. Do what you feel is right.
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Don't panick, speak to both of your parents about the situation, explain that it wasn't planned nd your scared for both you and the baby, and the worst scenario is an abortion, this is rising lately, you should have both been a little more careful, just because you 2 wern't ready doesnt meen your baby isnt-poor thing. you both need to step up to your mark and make this pregnancy happen and if the worst comes to the worst think about giving it up for adoption but an abortion isnt the solution! i really do things work out for you both, you need to really consider this and next time you know what to do! sorry about the harsh words, but your right the economy is **** at the moment but we need to get through this time and pull through. ive been trying 5months for baby number 1 and it upsets me when people aren't ready for a baby and they still go on to unprotected sex and then when they find out there pregnant they simply have an abortion and kill that innocent life, it hurts people who would wish/dream/prey each day for a baby. appreciate what you’ve and help that precious baby grow into a gawjuss, healthy, happy baby
xxxAnswer:
I'd keep the baby, apply for Medicaid, keep working, and keep going to school. I'd also apply for financial aid through the school if you don't have it already.
I would also speak with my parents and see what they say about it. After all, if they're willing to continue supporting you and helping you through this, you'll be a lot better off emotionally and financially.
Other details might need to be worked out as every one comes along, but you would probably qualify for Medicaid if you do not already have health insurance.
Children really don't take that much extra money in the first few years except for healthcare costs, and if you’ve Medicaid or health insurance, that's not so much of a worry. If you breastfeed and get family to help with childcare, you don't have extra costs there, and a lot of people will help with supplies and clothes and baby gear. That's what baby showers are for!
I'd also start making changes that bring you more responsility and independence, but only within your means. I wouldn't get into debt so long as I could find another way. If you need to live with your parents while going to school, then do it. I wouldn't move in with the guy just because you're pregnant. You’ve to think about what's best for all three of you now, and it might mean that the dad works his butt off and you live with your parents while you finish school and work and figure things out. It's not worth going into debt or financial hardship in order to have a place of your own and suddenly live independently. It's better to do what you can and try to get yourselves into a more stable position one step at a time.
Good luck!
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im just had to deal with a similar situation. im nearly 21 and my ex is 25. just broke up and found out i was pregnant. i do have a good job and work full time and have my own place but he doesnt. and it would be really hard for me to do on my own. but eveything happens for a reason. this is your child. plus you dont want to get an abortion without speaking to your parents since its part of them too. you never know they might be absolutely supportive and make you feel tons superior, i know my mom was. good luck!!
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Oh, I wish people wouldn't bring up the word abortion on here. But hey, it's a free country right. My wife is pregnant and we both have good jobs. My sisters have kids and no jobs.. and the government paid for all their hospital bills. I'm sorry not our government….US the taxpayers paid for people who are considered poor. They get everything for free. However. My wife and I are expected to pay for everything because we pay taxes and work. Doesn't make sense. But if you don't have money in this economy. Your healthcare will be free. So abortion shouldn't even be an issue. MY OPINION.
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OH honey, I know exactly how you feel! I make 10 hourly and work about 36 hours a week (when I get off disablilty my doctor put on that is) and I'm on my own.
Unplanned, no father involved and I'm 21. Yes it's scary. My parents charge me 250 a month in rent. I'm terrified of daycare cost, and diapers and oh everything lol!
Don't worry, just take it as it comes, and I'm sure your parents will help you! Hang in there!
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Why don't you consider adoption? There are so many couples who can't have babies and who would make excellent parents.
Right now you're responsible for a little, helpless tiny life, and the fate of this baby depends entirely on you.. I think adoption is a very loving choice in the best interest of your baby, if you truly are unable to care for him or her. Please don't end the baby's life, but rather give him or her the ideal life you possibly can.
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I comprehend how you feel. I am 21 and my fiance is 23 and we are anticipating are first, which was unplanned as well. Its def hard and going to be hard to make ends meet and such, but I could never abort my child. Even when I was like you and freaking out about the future. Its good that you are going to school. And it is possible to complete school even with a baby. I'm only taking one semester off and then going back after the baby is born. You may not be able to finish as early as you hoped but just make sure you finish. That way you can get a really good job in the future and support your child even superior. If I were you I would talk to your parents and his parents..see how much they’re willing to help you. If you decide you want to keep the baby then show them that you’re committed to it and to doing the ideal for the child and yourself. They’ll be more willing to help and more understanding. And then just work your butt off to make the ideal life for that child possible. It will all work out in the end. Hope I helped!
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I’m 20 and am anticipating within two weeks. Don’t go in over your head. Take a deep breath and relax….
You don’t have to abort. It will be hard work and guess what your child is worth it. I do not work (seeing as how far along i am) but my husband does. We live with my mother at the moment and it works because we help w/ half of the bills. It is still being responsible. It works out for her cos she doesnt have to pay half the bills and gets to spend it on what ever she wants.
You can do it and there are ways around this. I am going to school to become a nurse and it is hard and will get harder but guess what it is life. Life is not supposed to be simple. But it will get easier with time.
Look inside yourself and decide what is ideal for you, baby and boyfriend.
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Well im only 19 expecting my second and oh boy was this unplanned! but i just couldnt kill my baby i knew it would be really hard but every day i just think of my son and my unborn and do what i have to do to make things work! you might not have the nicest clothes or automobile or house/apartment right now but if you stay in school and stay working you can still have that later in life! dont think of this as a bad thing i mean i did at first im not going to lie and act like i was sooo ecstatic but then i thought well now i have twice as much motivation to finish school and have a good career!
and you can also consider adoption there are people out there who would love to have a baby but cant and you can feel good about blessing them!
abortion wasnt one of my options but hey if you really think you cant take care of this baby and feel like you couldnt give it up after you gave birth to it well it might be an option for you.
i wish you luck in whatever you decide.